Christmas 2013 Memories

We have had a wonderful Christmas season.  While it has been hard and different as we miss Big Frank so very much, the joy of Christmas has been in our hearts.  I think much of our joy comes from our two kids.  Their laughter is infectious and is a welcome distraction from the sadness that creeps in to our hearts at times.  As it was a busy holiday I will talk about each one individually:

Chandler Christmas!
We kicked off our holiday week with my family for our Chandler Christmas.  Amanda made her delicious chicken enchiladas and mom and dad made beans and rice and some other tasty sides for a mexican lunch for us.  Before eating we enjoyed the madness of gift opening.  Our kids were given so much stuff... they are so very loved and spoiled!  And so are we!  We love everything that was thoughtfully purchased by my family for us and enjoyed watching as the gifts we brought were opened.    I have the greatest family and am glad we were able to celebrate Christmas together.

Dad and Patches

The new slender tall tree with all the gifts... plus silly Emerson playing with the presents!

Alyssa and Justin

Some of the gift opening!

The silly shirts my mom got the guys... they were expandable shirts that were originally almost the size of playing cards.

A picture of us with my mom and dad

The kids with their aunts and uncles!

And here is a video of Cam pretending to talk on the phone... his voice sounds so deep it is funny.

Big Paul Christmas!

We left from Duncanville mid afternoon to head to Austin for the Big Paul family Christmas Sunday night and arrived right on time!  Right after arriving and unpacking the car everyone else arrived and the next Christmas celebration began!  It was fun visiting with Frank's cousins and his Aunt and Uncle. The Paul family is always a lot of fun.  We were all missing Big Frank, but had a very nice time together.  And again, our kids were spoiled with more presents!!  It was so thoughtful of everyone to think of the kids.

Sarah and Glenn

Uncle Carl as Santa  :)

Everyone visiting

Cousins Beth and Kelly with Dorthy

You know... us  :)

Christmas Eve!

Christmas Eve was lots of fun for everyone, too!  We made some Christmas cookies and Emerson helped.  She had lots of fun playing with the flour, which ended up all over her face as well as the floor!  :)  After church we decorated the cookies and Emerson piled on the sprinkles like you wouldn't believe!  We went to the Riverbend Church in Austin for the service and it was a beautiful sermon and service.  We sang Silent Night at the end, which is always a sight to see with everyone holding the candles.  Before that the preacher talked about the power of light and the joy that is represented by the light.  It shines through the darkness and brings us joy.  No matter how hard things can be, the light comes and is there. I guess to me it was a message that there is still great joy.  The power, wonder, and celebration of the birth of Jesus, which we call Christmas is so great that it overcomes the sadness we may feel.  I know I needed to hear that sermon.  The message may have meant sometime slightly different to others who were there, but I know that is the message I was supposed to hear because to be honest, I really have had a wonderful Christmas and I have struggled with understanding how I should feel.  Yes, there are many moments that are sad, but mostly we have enjoyed this time.  And so in my heart I have a bit of a struggle with that.  While things don't feel the same and I wish they were different, I am still happy.  Going through this loss for Frank and family has been so very difficult.  Things don't feel right, but they aren't completely wrong for us.  We are still a family, we laugh, argue (just being honest!), pick, joke, etc like always, but one person isn't there to see it and laugh with us.  I think there are so many times we catch ourselves silently enjoying something and then we think that it was something Big Frank would like.  In those moments we feel the loss again.  On Christmas Eve morning there was a beautiful fog over the lake and bridge and I thought to myself that Big Frank would have really enjoyed that.  Many times he would take pictures and send them to us on our phones.  I happened to be watching the kids and didn't pause to go take a picture outside before it lifted, but I mentioned it to Dorthy later in the day and she commented how she too saw it and thought Big Frank would have enjoyed it.  While I don't like feeling sadness, I hope that we always have moments where we see something like the beauty of the fog over the bridge and think of Big Frank.  

Emerson and MomMom working on cookies

Our family picture before the service

Our handsome little Cam

Our beautiful Emerson

Dancing for Sarah

Putting a hefty amount of sprinkles on her cookies!

He truly is a perfect little man

Our elf, Joy, telling Santa how great Emerson and Cameron were.  

Christmas Day:

Christmas Day was a lot of fun opening gifts with Dorthy and Glenn and Sarah.  Emerson was over the  moon excited when she opened a red remote control car and exclaimed that "Joy told Santa!".  I mean she was THRILLED!  If she opened a car she loved it anything else was useless to her.  So when she opened one of Glenn and Sarah's gifts that was a Dr. Seuss memory game that looked fun, she made a funny face as she politely put it on the coffee table.  Sort of a I know I need to smile and say thank you but I don't like it expression.  Dorthy and Sarah got a real kick out of that. 

Opening Santa's gifts at our home!

While we were gone in Austin Santa also came to our house because there wouldn't have been any room for that on the car ride home!  :)  We caught the reaction of Emerson seeing her adorable VW convertible car and the what is now funny reaction the two kids had.  Here are some videos of that:

Here is a video of Emerson driving the car for the first time:

The next three videos are us having fun with a slinky that Santa brought as well.  Such a simple toy is a ton of fun!!

This one is slow motion using the new feature on the iPhone... in slow motion we sound like cows.   :)

Thankful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving this year was with my family and we had everyone over to our house.  We had a ton of food, as always, and really had fun together.  As a different activity I got some paper from Macaroni Grill to put on the table and borrowed some of Emerson's crayons so we could all write what we are thankful for on the table.  Emerson was excited to be able to draw on it as well while we all ate.  We all had many things we were thankful for.  A common theme was we were thankful to all be together.  It's a little strange to be getting to this so late, but I do want to share some things we have all been thankful for.   So here are a few:

Our family (the four of us)- Emerson and Cameron are always on the move exploring their world, laughing and being kids.  I (we) can't imagine life without them.

Each other- Frank and I are thankful for each other.  It sounds corny, but I feel like we are more in love than ever.  Frank is a wonderful husband and dad... I truly am blessed.  And since he is so sweet to always say how much he loves me too I know he is thankful.

Our families-  We don't always agree, but no matter what our families are there for us.   They come to our rescue when we are about to explode. As was the case after we moved in to the new house and my family helped in so many ways.  Families make it happen because it is important and not because it is convenient.

Memories-  We lost Big Frank, which has been incredibly heart breaking for us, but we are thankful for the memories and the legacy he has left.  And we are thankful for the new memories we make to cherish with those we love.

Friendships-  We have some outstanding friends.  They are available to support us in so many ways... whether a shoulder to cry on, advice on what to do, just understanding, or to help us laugh we have the best friends who are there for us.

Health-  I have a tainted feeling when it comes to health... I say that you think you are fine until you find out that you aren't, but I am thankful that we have good health.

Our abundance- We are very blessed to know where our next meal comes from.  We don't worry that our electricity will be turned off, or that we will be evicted.  That is a world I don't even comprehend.  Growing up we had any and everything we needed and pretty much everything we "wanted" and didn't actually need.  But especially around the holidays there are more stories shared about those who go without.  Though I can't understand what that may be like, I'm thankful we don't have to choose between dinner and bills, fixing the car or dance lessons.  That's huge... it's a reality for so many people.

These are the important things that come to mind.  Of course I am thankful for many other things... our jobs... my fantastic coworkers... yall know I love me car.  I have had it for 3 years and I'm still as thrilled about it as I was when we got it... With us talking about a 3rd kiddo I am saddened it may mean a change in cars because of the space factor... but that is not going to be a big worry for a bit... for real!  :)  I'm thankful for pedicures... massages... I really love massages.  For margaritas... wine... pajamas.... the glow of a lamp light.  Soft blankets... for sleep.  Sleep is glorious.  Coffee... that's a must.  Our house, of course!  Music... I really love music!  So yeah, lots and lots of other things could be listed and I know you get the point.  So, happy belated Thanksgiving.

Icemageddon/Icepocalypse 2013 and other "winter" fun!

This year we had a crazy ice storm hit the metroplex... 1-2 inches of ice or more covered all the roads, houses, yards... everything!   It was beautiful to look at but dangerous to drive on!  Even with four wheel drive you would slide... not much you can do about ice that is that thick!  So we had lots of family time and Emerson was able to slide down the yard on the ice, which she loved!  Our sweet neighbors baked a Bourbon pecan pie and shared it with us, which was delicious!  Here are some pictures from over the last several weekends and a few videos I love too!

All bundled and layered so she could play outside!

He is just so darn cute!

The picture we used for our Christmas card, actually taken on Thanksgiving :)

Such a charmer!

Sweet, sweet girl!

Giving daddy some kisses!

Better watch out!!  (this is the back of Cam's shirt)

Dorthy's Christmas card picture

One tree in the front with the ice on the branches

A golf course nearby... Preston Trails.

Emerson and Daddy snuggling watching tv

Our formal living room decorated for Christmas

Little man trying to walk around in my flip flops... he loves trying to wear shoes and walk around.

I have to share the Santa picture we took this year as well... I just love it.  So funny.  Poor Cam!!

Now for some videos!!

"Do it again!"

Emerson sliding on ice

More sliding on the ice!

Emerson and Daddy playing "Hide and Seek"... this is so funny.  I love it.  

Just a random video of the kids playing around

Halloween 2013!

Things were too crazy this year for a Halloween party, but we still had a great time carving a pumpkin and Trick or Treating.  Both kids were super heroes, which I find fitting because they are super kids!!  (yes, I am THAT cheesy!)  Here are some pictures of the fun!

Having fun with the pumpkin I carved... free hand, by the way.  Not too bad!  :)

Super girl!

Batman!!!

Emerson ringing the door bell to get some treats!

Cam's long overdue 18 month update! (since he is now almost 20 months!)

I'm so behind, so I will keep this pretty brief!  Little man continues to melt my heart every day.  He is such a tender hearted little boy (or I should perhaps say baby).  He went through a phase a while back where he hardly wanted to be held, but now he wants to be snuggled and loved on all the time.  While it is not easy to get much done when he wants to cuddle, it is really wonderful to have him in my arms and to give him lots of kisses.  His vocabulary continues to grow and he says many phrases.  Some are just two words and some 3-4 words that run together.  "I'm gonna get you!" as he and Emerson chase each other around.  "Hold this" when he wants me to hold his lovey so he can drink his milk.  He loves to say "No" still... all the time!  Ha ha.  Also, "Okay" in this super sweet voice.  One thing that tickles me is that when he is doing something he shouldn't do I will ask him if he wants to be spanked (which I know, that is a dumb question, but it works!) and he will stop what he is doing (for real!) and will say "No" in this adorable voice.  I have no chance of actually spanking him in the future if he continues to respond with that sweet innocent sounding voice, that is, should he start to ignore the threat.  So far so good it would seem...We have so much fun with this little guy.  As far as other details... he is a picky eater, despite my what somewhat vigilant attempts to keep his food variety going.  Interestingly, he loves blackberries.  Yes, you read it right.  Those little tart berries that most adults sort of flinch while eating because they are tart are like candy for Cameron.  He doesn't flinch one bit and shovels them in his mouth.  And speaking of shoveling, I will add that is Cam's preferred method of eating.  Why use the fork or spoon when you can two fist it and shove so much more in to your mouth??  We use our handheld Dyson 2-3 times a day for that reason... and I am considering getting a dog to also help with the matter.  ;)  He loves playing with his sister and they sometimes play and share in harmony, though many times there are some disputes and yelling.  He is not as passive about things as he was before because he will yell "NO!" back to her and has actually gone after her.  It really cracks me up to see him charge after her, but I am quick to diffuse the situation usually!!  He loves to turn light switches on and off and tries to plug things in and out of outlets.  I wish he would not do that so we have to really watch him!  And he enjoys playing with blocks and stacking them... and trying to play with his sister's cars while she isn't looking.  :)  Cam is still a great sleeper and usually goes to bed around 8:30 sleeping until 7:30 or later.  Oddly over the last couple of weeks both kids were really sleeping in and didn't wake up until after 8:30, sometimes 9... and one time 10!  (though the 10am is suspect as I was gone at a hair appt and this was the time Frank woke up and interestingly the kids got up shortly after...hmmmm)  When I took Cam to the doctor these were his measurements:  26 lbs 13 oz (50-75%), 33.5 inches tall (75-90%), and his head was 49 cm (75-90%).

We love our little handsome Small Paul so much!

"Call my Agent"...  aka Mom...

Pumpkin Patch at the Arboretum!

I was really wanting to take the kids to the Arboretum while the weather was nice so I decided KK and I could take them on my day off this past Thursday before my afternoon of relaxation and pampering.  I was hoping for a picture of both of them in the pumpkins together, but that is just about impossible.  Really they were both a tad cranky it seemed and Emerson was not at all interested in helping me get a good picture.  :) But they did have fun running around to explore the pumpkins.  Before we left I bought them both mini pumpkins, which I let Emerson pick from the big mound near the exit.  And I actually am pretty pleased with the pictures I got... especially the picture of Cameron.  He looks so old!!

Frank and I will hopefully head out there together with the kids in the next few weeks to enjoy the garden in the fall.  It is always so beautiful.  

Farewell Lofty Lane

In the midst of dealing with everything else going on in our lives it felt like no one wanted to buy our house.  We would have people interested, but no offers.  Paula, our realtor, had several open houses while we were out of town, and finally we got two offers within a few days of each other.  The first was not strong so we held out for the second offer we hoped would be coming and it did.  While it was not for the amount we hoped, it was a strong offer.  So we countered and the potential buyer walked away... he wasn't willing to pay a penny over the original offer.  We were really blown away... that was the first sign that the buyer seems to be a bit of a hot-head.  But our realtor contacted their realtor and resurrected the offer eventually.  That was a relief.  While we still did not like the amount, it was better than not having a buyer at all!  So then came the inspection.  We have not had any problems with the house at all... nothing outside of normal.  But the inspector found what he thought was a water leak near the pool equipment.  We were surprised and disappointed because we already had so much to deal with.  But we agreed to repair the leak, whatever it was and the buyer's option period came to an end.  Another big relief.  I began calling the Sprinkler company to have them repair the sprinkler leak that seemed to be the source.  Thinking it was all being taken care of we were focusing on Frank's dad as he was not doing well at all... we knew he did not have long, but didn't know how short the time was.  When I returned home and talked with the sprinkler repair man he explained he could not find any leak in the sprinklers.  So I turned to Riverbend again needing them to make absolutely sure nothing was wrong with the hot-tub or equipment.  Really Riverbend had been awful to work with through this... they did not seem to care what the problem was or want to solve it... they just wanted to reiterate it was not their problem to deal with.  During all of this time we were moving out of the house...  and the night after we moved is when Big Frank passed away so we were in Austin.  While in Austin I got in touch with Riverbend to schedule a time for their repair man to meet with the sprinkler repair man because he thought he could help explain what he found.  When I returned from Austin I went to the house to get some last minute things... and with just days before closing I was starting to panic that between Riverbend coming out and the sprinkler guy doing his work we still didn't have the leak resolved. That weekend, Frank, a water leak specialist with Riverbend, came out to do more pressure testing.  They still couldn't figure it out.  Finally a person from Riverbend who really cared and wanted to help us, but he couldn't because he too was not able to figure out what the problem was.  They just knew it absolutely was not the hot-tub or the hot-tub equipment... that it was not the sprinkler system... and that it was not a leak with the plumbing with the house.  All good news except that we still couldn't explain the water that was pooled on the side yard.  This was Saturday with closing scheduled Monday.  On Sunday after talking about the dilemma with our neighbor, we had an epiphany... it was the french drain!  So the wonderful sprinkler repair man rescheduled everything he had scheduled for Monday morning to come to the house first thing to flush the drain and get it to drain properly.  After a couple of hours of pushing a pipe through and looking for clogs, he found a big wad of stuff that was blocking the water from flowing and solved the problem.  This was just minutes before the scheduled closing.  This was just as the buyer's agent came to do the walk through.  Our realtor had us sign an amendment that we repaired the french drain blockage and the buyer's signed it at closing as well... and with that we said goodbye.  

I think with everything that we have gone through recently with Frank's dad that my emotions were spent... I didn't have a tearful moment really... I was sad of course, but really I felt ok.  It had been a wonderful home for our family.  So many cherished memories...  In that house we went through many ups and downs... we had the loss of a pregnancy... the excitement and joy of bringing home two babies... the loss of a beloved pet... 6 years of birthdays, holidays, celebrations.  Lots of memories planting flowers... doing the yard work we were always so proud of.  We remember the fun time we had building the house and picking out all the colors that we wanted.  Watching it go from a mound of dirt, to the slab being poured... framing, bricking, and everything coming together.  We will miss Emerson's beautiful mural and Cameron's room...  It was our house... a really great house with great neighbors.  So yes, we will miss it.  But we are thankful that we have this new house where we will make new memories... and we know this new house will be wonderful for us.  So, farewell Lofty Lane.  We hope the new owners take as good of care as we did and that they, too, have wonderful memories there.  

Emerson's 1st Day of School!

I'm so behind on posting about all the things we have going on!  Emerson started school on September 4th!

The week before we had her open house, which went absolutely terribly.  We had been talking a lot about school trying to promote it to her and get her both excited and used to the idea of school.  The night of open house came and we hurried to get both kids ready to go to the church.  As we were parking in what felt like a very full parking lot, which I noted meant we must have been the last parents to arrive, Emerson started to sort of freak out.  She started saying she didn't like school and she didn't want to go.  I carried her in assuring her it would be fun and that she would like it.  After we got in I realized in my amateur fashion that I neglected to print out the email that had her room number and I couldn't remember her teacher's name because I could hardly pronounce it right.  So I was aimlessly walking around thinking I would recognize it when I saw it.  That is when a sweet lady saw us and asked if she could help so I explained and she joined us walking class to class trying to find the teacher because she was not sure either.  All during this time Emerson was clinging to me as if her life depended on it.  Finally we found the room... Mrs W is what she says to call her.  She was the sweetest lady, but Emerson was still reluctant to even go in the room.  But we got her to go in and distracted her with the toys.  That is when she became engrossed in the play kitchen and was busy with the new toys there.  While she played we visited briefly with her teacher and talked about what to expect.  And then it was nearing time to go to the parent assembly in the old sanctuary.  I wanted to get Emerson and Cameron so we could head over.  I told Emerson we needed to leave and she said "Not Yet!" and because I am trying to get her to do what we tell her I said she would get a spanking if she didn't come with us.  And she still did not stop, which left me no choice.  I grabbed her and spanked her lightly, as I warned I would, and at that moment my daughter became something I have never seen...  She screamed/yelled "NO" louder than I think we have ever heard her scream and with both hands slapped my face as hard as she could...  IN. FRONT. OF. EVERYONE.  The other moms... the other dads... the other kids.... and sweet Mrs W.  I was incredibly angry, more angry than I have ever been with her...  I was MORTIFIED... What must these other people think of me and of Emerson?  Surely they were thinking "What kind of parent is she?"...  I was shocked.  Why would she react this way?  I did not beat her for heaven's sake... I hardly spanked her.  At that moment I wanted to burst into tears... vanish from the room without anyone noticing, but ALL eyes were on us.  Once I looked around to see who was watching the other eyes darted away mostly, except the teacher who calmly came to tell me it was ok and that I should not feel bad.  She knew Emerson was a sweet girl.  Feeling that I was quickly going to lose control of my emotions we hurried to leave and go to the parent assembly.  I could hardly look at Emerson... I was so angry and hurt... and I am not exaggerating when I say my face was still burning because it was.  After the meeting, which thankfully was very short, we left to run a couple of errands before going home.  As we were driving I started to cry... I just couldn't hold it in any longer.  I hated that the open house went that way.  Something I had been looking forward to because I was so excited for Emerson to start school went so horribly.  After a while Frank saw that I was upset and he said to me "You are a great mom"... like he knew I needed to hear those words.  And I did.  Being honest, I am constantly second guessing myself and asking if I am being a good mom... I didn't need that night to go like it did.

So when the first day of school arrived I was hoping it would go much better.  We had just had a very, very awful weekend in Austin as it was when Big Frank had to be admitted back in the hospital.  It was when we were told he would possibly not live more than a week because the cancer was spreading into his brain and he was no longer communicating, but I was torn with no knowing what to do.  I decided to come back home so she could go to school and we could keep the kids in their normal routine.  

The morning went well... we got her dressed in the outfit I picked out.  She was enjoying a good breakfast and then it was time to go.  I got some pictures of her outside and we left the house to take her to school.  When we got to school she was doing great... we saw all the other excited kids and parents taking pictures outside for the big day.  We, of course, took some as well and in we went to walk to her classroom.  Before getting there we even stopped for a first day fo school picture using their photographer.  When we arrived at Mrs W's classroom Emerson was excited.  She went right in and started playing.  I explained briefly to Mrs. W that we may be needing to leave town quickly depending on what happened with Big Frank so she would know.  While discussing this Emerson was busy playing and didn't even see us.  So Kristen and I slipped away without causing a stir and all was calm.  It went perfectly... no tears... no screaming... just a sweet and happy 3 year old playing with new friends... and a weary and exhausted mom relieved that there were no struggles that morning.  I actually feel that my emotions for a brief moment were gleeful...  This very important and special day went well... thank you Lord.  I DID need that.  

Since then I would say Emerson has done great adjusting to the routine with school.  Sometimes she is tired in the mornings when KK gets her ready, but normally it goes smoothly.  She brings home lots of fun artwork.  She has recently started singing some new songs that I think she must be learning there.  And she has dance on Wednesdays, which she also seems to enjoy.  It is all going so well... she is even doing great with eating her lunch half the time!  :)

Enjoying her favorite breakfast... pancakes!!

All ready to go!!

The photo taken by the school photographer.  She was grinning because she threw the apple that was sitting on the books originally!!