Peace Out 2014, Hello 2015!

And just like that, another year has flown by!  I remember writing my blog post last year as I set goals for us for the year and it certainly doesn't seem like it was 12 months ago.  It seems the older I get, and I am not even "old" yet, the faster the clock spins.  This year was filled with many moments of absolute joy, lots of change (still!), great sadness at times, but this is life.  We all have ups and downs and we just never know what is going to happen tomorrow.  I am thankful for the wonderful memories we have had with our families and the kids this year.  Emerson and Cameron bring us more joy than we could ever have comprehended before having them.  Their sweet hugs and kisses do more for my soul than I could describe.  

I didn't fully achieve all of the goals I set last year... the biggest being the family history book.  Ughh... that project is a doozy... I really do need to get it going because it is important to me.  I will do this!!!

I have worked on the goal to enjoy life more and to worry less, and well,  I can't say I worry less, because that just wouldn't be true.  That is just hard for a person like me!  Will I ever not worry?  I fear not... see what I mean?  Now, I certainly enjoy life... my perspective is ever changing... We all say and know life is fragile, but when it smacks you in the face it hurts. That reality continues to confront me as it seems every year we lose someone special to us or someone very close to us has a loss that is all consuming.  Loss is hard, no way around it.  So knowing that, I want to enjoy every day I have to make memories and be with those dear to me.  I don't ever want to let something special slip by without being able to look back at it later and so I find myself taking pictures of it all... and sometimes I think that may take away from "the moment" because instead of just enjoying it I am taking a picture of it, but if I can't do something to help me remember it, will I remember it?  (See, there is that worry again...at least I see it!)  It's the small things in life that bring a collective abundance of joy and happy memories... I can't let them slip by without capturing them... I want to be able to remember as much as I can always. Not just the big events, but every day moments.  That's why I catch myself always trying to snap a picture of it... pictures mean so much to me as they help me reflect on special memories and brings smiles, sometimes tears to my eyes.  So, I'll just have to ensure I allow myself to savor special moments and continue documenting them so long as I don't take away from the moments.  That shouldn't be too hard, right?  I think I can figure that out...

Below is a little video highlighting some of my favorite pics from the last year to a song I feel is appropriate, called "I Lived" by One Republic.  The chorus says " I did it all.  I owned every second that this world could give.  I saw so many places, the things that I did.  Yeah, with every broken bone, I swear I lived."  Good song...  you can listen to it here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KINfQbfZwik  I like the message in the song... live life and give it your all.  

We brought in the New Year with some super fun people.  Frank was offered Dallas Stars tickets for NYE before Christmas, which we gladly accepted.  It would be a fun thing to do, I thought, and boy did I under estimate how fun it would actually be.  We were able to watch the game from the comfort of the Fujitsu suite where we had snacks and drinks.  The Stars were playing great and everyone in the suite was having a great time.  After the game we had access to the Audi Club where we could hang out on the patio that overlooked the BigDNYE events.  It was a fantastic view of Victory Park and even though it was freezing cold, we had a wonderful time.  Our friends Tracy and Homero were at the game and were able to join us on the patio as well and we enjoyed the countdown activities together along with some other friends from Fujitsu!  I took several pictures and a video... it was so much fun!  Probably the most fun I can remember on a NYE!

 So, what is the plan for 2015?  I of course have some goals, so without further adieu...

1. Continue working to get healthier.  Frank and I started the Utopia diet again and so far so good!  
2. Complete the family history book... the 3rd time is a charm!  (Because yes, this is the 3rd year it has been on the list!)
3. Do Misc. house projects--> paint the boards in Cam's room, paint the school desks, side table, and finish growth chart  (big list!)
4. Enjoy being home with the kids!  (this is the easiest one of all!) 
5. Read more books!  (I have to stop falling asleep when I try to read, so I need to read in the morning or when the kids are in school!)
6. Start journaling!
7. Stop biting my nails (oh man, this is a tough one y'all)

The kids have some goals, set by me of course...

Emerson:

1. Master writing her ABCs and 123s
2. Get even better at riding her bike
3. Start flossing (shhh... don't tell the dentist... it's my fault!)

Cameron:

1. Potty training (going to do this soon!)
2. Learn to recognize all letters in alphabet
3. Begin counting objects (not counting 1-10 or 1-20, but actually counting how many of something)  :)

Frank has a few:

1. Lose 50 pounds  (Frank said this, by the way... not me)
2. Have fun with the kids
3. Play more golf.

I look forward to 2015... I hope it is a great year!  :)

A Joyful 2014 Christmas

Truth be told, the beginning of December was anything but joyful for us.  We hoped this Christmas to be able to share the blessing of another "small Paul",  but it would not be the case.  As sad as I was with our loss, I was determined to not let sadness taint what should be the happiest time of the year.  And y'all know when I'm determined about something that is in my control, I do everything I can to do it!!  That included praying for peace, recognizing we will be just fine, and being thankful for the blessing of Emerson and Cameron.  But I was not alone, my dear sweet family and friends contributed to making this a still VERY joyful Christmas time through their support, prayers and time together!

• Our elf, Joy, returned at the beginning of December to help keep watch over the kids and report to Santa how they were doing.  They were thrilled to see Joy and tried to be on their best behavior!  Atleast some of the time and when this was not the case, we would remind them she was watching.  :)

• Early in the month we enjoyed going to birthday parties for kids of two dear friends...  Nora's 4th birthday and Baines' 1st birthday.  Both parties were really fun for the kids and great for us... so nice to see people who love you and enjoy the time together.  

• We took the kids to see Santa at the Galleria one morning.  It went so smoothly this time and I was so glad.  Both kids were talking about seeing Santa and what they would ask for when they talked to him.  Cam told us he wanted a "chop-choo train" and Emerson wanted an Elsa dress and "power shoes".  One day the way the kids were talking in the backseat as we were driving  and Emerson was commenting that Cameron was going to cry when he sat on Santa's lap, to which he replied that no, he would not cry.  It cracked us up to listen to them.  So when it came time to sit on Santa's lap both of them talked to him first and let him help them onto his lap.  It was magical to see!  No tears, just a precious moment where they were both looking up to Santa to share their wishes.  I was proud of both of them for being brave and not being scared.  :)

• My family watched the kids so Frank and I enjoyed a wonderful date night Christmas shopping and a delicious steak dinner at Dee Lincoln's, a new steakhouse in Plano.  It was darn good steak!!

• Our friends Tracy and Homero had a Tacky Christmas Sweater Party that was one for the books!  They had amazing food, delicious drinks and desserts and had the absolute craziest and unique gift exchange and game we have ever seen.  I won't try to describe it fully here, but just know you likely could hear the laughter and yelling from the street.  Fantastic party...

• Justin and Alyssa came over to build a gingerbread house one night... half the candy was eaten it seemed or rolling on the floor at times, but the kids loved it!

• We took the kids to see the Trains at Northpark for the first time since Cameron has become absolutely enthralled with them.  Both kids were in awe... it was really neat to see.  I think my dad would really love it as well, so maybe next year we will go together.  

• I have recently joined the Mom-to-Mom group at the church and am getting to know those ladies and they are so genuine and welcoming.  At our meetings we share what is happening in our lives and get feedback, we pray and have fellowship.  It has been nice to get to know them.  I especially enjoyed the Christmas party that was one Sunday evening.  We had a gift exchange that created a lot of laughter!!

• Some friends came over one evening for a girl's night and we had Italian food and enjoyed wine as we laughed and talked about our lives.  I know I needed that time and it meant so much to me.  

• The kids were having so much fun in school with all of the Christmas projects.  Before school let out they had a performance where they sang Christmas carols that was so precious.  I just loved it.  

The weekend before Christmas we went to Austin for the big Paul Family Christmas and had a really wonderful weekend.  Santa came to the party as well to hand out gifts.  Both kids were apprehensive at first, but then warmed up to that Santa.  It was a fun night visiting with family, even though I was a bit cranky because Cameron was having lots of temper tantrums!  Oh that little boy was testing me!  :)  Glenn and Sarah came in the next day and we enjoyed a quick visit with them as well.  That night we watched The Griswold Family Christmas, which is always a guaranteed fun night.  That movie never gets old!  We were all rolling with laughter and were indeed the "jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut-house!"  :)

On Christmas Eve we were busy baking cookies for Santa and to take to CC and PaulPaul's.  We had fun making a little bit of a mess and everyone helped!  Frank especially helped by mixing the Gingerbread cookies so we could make gingerbread men.  That evening we went to the Christmas Eve family service at the church.  It was interactive for the kids and they enjoyed feeling like part of it.  That night we gave them their first Christmas Eve box that contained special Christmas pajamas, a light up Christmas tree wand, and a little toy truck.  They were so excited.  We got the cookies and milk ready, read the Night Before Christmas and off to bed they went.  :)

On Christmas Day the kids had to be woken up by Frank as I waited with the camera since they were sleeping so late!  They were very excited to see what Santa brought!!  They explored everything Santa lovingly placed out for them and just really started digging in!  We gave them a little time to enjoy that as we finished last minute loading of the car to head to Duncanville.  I had gotten up earlier to make chocolate covered strawberries, dip some marshmallows (thanks for my awesome friend, Laura, I was addicted to those things!), and some white chocolate covered amaretto soaked cherries.  Yes, that's right... they are de-lish and I am also addicted to those.  :)  Once we arrived we enjoyed the chaos that is having two young kids, four dogs and eight adults... it was wonderful!  We laughed at the dogs as they were crazy barking, playing and chasing each other.  There were so many gifts to exchange and open and that was so fun... the kids are very loved, and spoiled! :)  They got some really fun stuff.  Of course, the best gift ever was from CC and was an Elsa dress that lit up and played "Let it Go".  To Emerson that meant THE WORLD.  Goodness, she literally could not take it off and not stop playing the song.  It was a riot because she would push it and my older brother, Johnnie, would whisper under his breath in great frustration, "I HATE that song" as he had a scowl on his face.  We must have heard the whole scene 25 times in just one day and that may be too conservative of a guess! My mom ordered that gift for Emerson in the summer time knowing it would arrive just in time for Christmas and it was such a hit for Emerson, and still is.  She asks pretty much every day if she can wear her Elsa dress.

On the morning after Christmas I unfortunately broke my pinky toe as I was hurrying to try to get to Reese because I didn't want her to wake the kids, and as I made the turn from the bedroom my foot slammed into the dresser/table in the hall and it HURT LIKE HELL... I whisper yelled an expletive as I bent over in agony for a few seconds.  Once I recovered from the initial blunt pain I hobbled down the stairs realizing something was not right with my toe.  I asked my sister to get Frank and then I cautiously took off my sock, which I was afraid to do fearing what I would see, and found my poor chubby pinky toe completely sticking out horizontally rather than in line.  I think my eyes almost popped out of my head for a second as it was sinking in that my toe was pretty messed up.  So Frank took me to the ER clinic and they temporarily fixed me up with pain shots, buddy taped the toe and gave me a prescription with the advise to get in to a podiatrist ASAP.  We returned home and as I propped my foot up and got some rest my mom, dad and sister went after Christmas shopping for me!  They found us a tree and nutcracker, the two things I had on my list!  And that afternoon since my foot was still numb I joined them to go to Target and later Kohls.  :)  At Target I actually rode on one of those little motorized carts, and that was fun.  As my sister said jokingly, you can't keep a good shopper down.  ;)

We returned home on the 27th and Dorthy came up that night and we did our exchange with her.  And thankfully, she helped put up Christmas decorations while I tried to keep my foot up and not to over do things after my appointment at the podiatrist.  It's all ok... just temporary and I am getting better at doing stuff with the boot.  Its a love/hate relationship, as they say.  I am hopeful my toe is a "super toe" and heals faster than the average.  **Fingers crossed!**  :)

As all of the decorations have been put away, mostly, here is one last picture of my favorite room while it was decorated.  

Puppy Love--- Meet Reese!

In early July, a friend posted pictures on Facebook of a new litter of puppies that her female German Short-Haired Pointer just delivered.  They were ADORABLE.  I mean A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!  I  had been wanting us to find a family dog as I wanted our kids to have a pet to grow up with and when I saw her post I couldn't resist the urge to get more information.   I convinced Frank to drive out to South Lake, which is a 45 minute drive, so we could see the litter.  They were so adorable and we picked our puppy from the litter, assuming we would return to adopt her when the time came.  She was just a few days old and couldn't open her eyes yet. Just so precious!! It would be a couple of months before she could be adopted.  After we left from the visit we did a lot of talking about what we should do and we thought about what we should name her.  I liked Reese since she is brown like chocolate and a girl.  Everyone seemed to like it, too!  After lots of discussion we decided to go for it! We returned in August to see her again and she was so much bigger!!  Then, Labor Day weekend we brought Reese home!  The kids were happy all along, but they were not crazy excited at first... I don't think they really understood.  :)

The first few days were rough with the initial adjustment, constant barking and we were just starting potty training.  It is good she was so darn cute, because it was a pain!! I would watch her like a hawk and still she managed to have an accident... all. the. time!!!   I would walk her and for a puppy she was incredibly strong!  So strong that I managed to pull my neck muscle, and that HURT!  I had a few visits to the chiropractor and massage to get back to normal!  :)  Then she was chewing on things... plus the barking when she was in the kennel!  We decided she needed a puppy training class because we definitely needed some help!  So we started a 6 week course and I went every Thursday night with Reese to the class.  She did pretty well learning some basic commands, and it helped to get the input from the PetSmart trainer.

Still, she was still wearing me out with the little things that puppies do... to the point where I was really thinking it was a bad idea.  I just was exhausted and frustrated by it!!  It is such hard work that we really do not think we will ever want to get another puppy to train again.  Ha ha... This is what we tell others to make it clear how tough it is!  Still, I did not want to give up on Reese and on us figuring it out.  The kids loved her and I knew we just had to keep working at it.  At this point, I was getting a few "I told you so" comments from friends who thought I was crazy when we adopted her.  It was rough, but here we are now with a 6 month old puppy who is doing so great.  She, of course, has an insane level of energy... she can play with my brother's dog for hours and not want to stop!  But she is the sweetest little dog...so happy always and the kids both LOVE her.  Especially Cameron, who loves to hug and kiss on her in more of a wrestling manner.  She has learned how to play with them without hurting them it seems as well, thank goodness.  Those puppy teeth are killer!!  :)

We have some things we will continue to work on, but I say for a 6 month old puppy she is doing great.  We love our sweet Reese!!  Here are some pics of our favorite four legged family member!  :)

Could you resist this sweet face??

When we visited in August... so much bigger!!

Hanging out in her kennel when we brought her home.

Such a cute puppy

She is an Aggie fan, naturally.  :)

Just such a beautiful girl!

When she passed her 6 week Beginner Education class

Reese's 1st Halloween!

Cameron giving her hugs and kisses

Our 6 month old puppy!

Bring on the Yoga Pants...

At the end of July I left the business world to stay home with Emerson and Cameron.  Such a HUGE decision that I wrestled with for many months.  Back in the early, early days of motherhood the idea of staying home with the kids was just not even conceivable for me.  I loved Emerson, the sweet little cute baby she was, but I really feared for my sanity if I were to have stayed home.  Who would I talk to and how would I make it through the day?  I couldn't even last the full 12 weeks of maternity leave!  So I worked and all was well.  We had a wonderful nanny who loved the solitude and I was able to continue enjoying working at Fujitsu, because I really truly did enjoy working.  Occasionally I would have the thought that I should be staying home with her, but I always quickly dismissed it.  Then along came sweet Cameron, and I again was happy to get back to work.  We had a different nanny to care for the two kids, and again, everyone was happy.  Our new nanny loved her job, I loved my job, and the kids were happy.  Still though, I would occasionally have that tug at my heart that I should stay home.  I'd feel that tug on good days at work and certainly on bad days.  Many days I would think, what is the point of what I'm doing??  What am I thinking I will achieve that is so important?  I could be with the kids everyday and enjoy all that comes with it, from the tantrums to the hugs and kisses.  But it scared me so much to make that huge leap.  Because it was HUGE for me.  For quite some time I had been convincing myself staying home was not the best thing for our family.  Yet, despite that, the tugging just got more and more persistent.  I was not as happy at work as I had been in the past during the time that these thoughts became more and more frequent.  And really, I felt lost and confused.  I could no longer dismiss those feelings that I should stay home and call it crazy.  My priorities were shifting and I began to understand that I didn't have to work to feel a sense of worth... or that I was an achiever.  It would be ok for me to pick back up later, when and if I want to enter back in to the business world. With all of the feelings just really hammering me, not being dramatic at all, it felt inescapable, I prayed more about it and listened to my heart.  I talked to Frank, in tears most of the time because it was just eating me up. He was fully supportive realizing and seeing how I was feeling.  This was a big change for him as well!!  Thank goodness, also, for my sweet friends who shared their perspectives and reassured me that I could do it.  Especially Ashley, who may never know how thankful I am to have her guidance and her ability to listen so well... I love that woman!  :)  Still, I had so many fears even though I knew it was the right thing for me/us.  I was going to do it... FINAL DECISION.  I shared the news with a larger circle including our families, who were also supportive, though I think a bit surprised. :) In the past when the subject came up in family discussions I always said I wouldn't do it, so they had to absorb the big news.  And then I told my employer.  I knew it would be a shock to most... to be honest it was still a shock to me! :) Instantly I felt relief and so happy... I worried about letting the people I cared about at work down, but they understood.  EVERYONE knew and everyone understood.  I couldn't get over how many coworkers, both men and women, supported the decision.  I couldn't believe how many people told me they were proud of me and that I would not regret it.  God knew the support I needed and the transition went so well, except for a breakdown or two as I tried to wrap things up.  I gave a lengthy notice to allow for as much preparation to be done as possible, but you know how that goes.  :)

Fast forward five months and here I am... still SO happy I made that decision.  These kids have driven me absolutely nuts some days, especially Cameron with his tantrums.  That little boy is a real hot head sometimes... but then he is the absolute sweetest little boy.  I have the joy of watching them play and laugh and cuddle with them.  I am able to make so many more memories and be part of everything in their lives.  It's like a weight has been lifted that had become heavier and heavier.  Not every day is "butterflies and rainbow kisses", but there is joy in every day with these kids.  And on days when they are both in preschool from 9-2, this super spoiled mom gets to run errands, grocery shop, get a pedicure or whatever I want... it doesn't get any better and I know that.  We hope to change things with a future baby #3, which will change those "free times" I enjoy, but I can't wait for that.  Maybe the next go around I will get better at baby wearing.  :)  I love being home... I am so glad I took that leap.

I do miss my coworkers though... so many wonderful people I used to see 5 days a week.  So for those of you who read my blog... I DO miss you!!  But, nothing is better than these kids!  :)

I'm no stranger to the camera with taking pictures with the kids, so here are a few...