House of Cards

Our world has been shaken with the news of Frank senior's cancer... Yet again when all seems well and we are busy living and enjoying life things change in an instant.  It seemed harmless enough... just another spot for the dermatologist to remove, or in this case a surgeon, but really it was just a glimpse into what was brewing beneath the surface.  At first it was dreadful news and I knew when Frank called me on his way home telling me his parents needed to talk to us together that it was cancer.  I just knew.  But we did not and could not have believed it would be as developed as it is.   Stage 4 Melanoma... How?  How can a person who is diligent about getting his skin checked have this?  How can a healthy man have this?  Of course, I know that has nothing to do with it... when Dad was diagnosed with cancer it was just as much of a shock... a man who ran track in his youth and college days, put on a few "healthy" pounds, but never smoked and hardly drank was diagnosed with esophageal cancer.  In this way it all sounds so familiar.  Frank's dad is healthy... he is an active golfer and is always doing something whether it is running up to Golfsmith (yet again!) or to Great Hills to see friends, he is out and about.  He is so cautious with his health and uses sunscreen but it seems that it was not enough to stop this.   I have done so much thinking about this... the unpredictability of life and how hard it is for me to accept not being able to control it.  I do everything I can to keep things in control in my life... I have schedules, routines, and plans for what I want to happen.  I want to plan for things to always be as they should in my mind.  I have such a hard time with the reality that it is not in my control.   What we have is this house of cards... we build it into what we want it to be with the hand we are dealt.  We build layers and fill it with so many things that are important to us... our families, our friends, memories... but at the end of the day it is all so fragile.  It feels like in an instant it can crumble.  I realize we are incredibly blessed.  We have amazing children and have loved and enjoyed every minute as we share our children with our parents and family.  Watching both my parent's and Frank's parents be grandparents and dote on our children has been truly wonderful.  I am fearful that this will change or I guess in a way I know it will change, though we do not know when.  While that is both obvious and inevitable as this is the way of life, I did not think we would be faced with this reality any time soon.  We pray daily and I know so many of my friends do the same... this is not in our hands and far from my control.  I need to find comfort in knowing that what is meant to be will be, but I am not sure I can. Please sweet and understanding family and friends of ours, please keep praying.  For now things are calm with Big Frank.  He is still tired and is taking so much medicine, but it is too soon to know if the cancer medicine is working.  And thank you to our family and friends for helping us through this.   I find strength in knowing my family and girlfriends are always there for us... It helps me to be there for Frank... I have expressed to many of you that Big Frank is pretty much Frank's best guy friend... they talk constantly about golf and what is going on... such mundane conversation to a non golfer, but to them recounting the shots on the holes at the course, what club was used, where the holes were placed on the greens, etc... this conversation is always special to Frank.  They share this bond and always have.