Where do I find those rose colored glasses?

Something that has been really weighing on my heart has been the lack of faith I have in miracles or that despite the odds things can turn out ok.  I am the type of person who wants to live in reality and if a situation looks bad, and all the information says it is bad, then how could it be that it won't turn out bad?  Yes, I am referring to Big Frank and his fight with cancer.  All along the information from the doctors has been very negative.  His oncologist has been pretty blunt with his assessment of the aggressive nature of this melanoma.  It continues to grow, yet at the same time the doctors are seeing some positive results from the treatment.  Two months ago I got a strange email reply to my last post about Cameron's 1st Birthday , which by the way, was my last post!!.  The email said "Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog!"  I was thinking it must be some sort of spam and I quickly got a little freaked out that a stranger happened upon my blog.  But something told me I should respond, so cautiously, I replied asking what she needed.  To my absolute shock, this was the reply:  

Hi there Emily!

Thanks for getting back to me! I am 44 and a mother to a quirky little 7 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and my whole world. When Lily was just 3 1/2 months old, I was diagnosed with mesothelioma; a type of cancer that kills most people within 2 years. As I’m sure you can imagine, the first thing that came to mind when I was diagnosed was my baby girl and how I wasn’t going to be able to watch her grow up.

After intense treatment and recovery, I’m still here 7 years later and cancer free! My journey with cancer was a terrifying one and I'd like to turn my pain into purpose and become someone that other people can look to for guidance, inspiration, and hope in situations like my own. My husband and I recently participated in a short video about my experience with cancer and I contacted you because I feel that your blog would be an excellent place to share. I’m hoping to use this video as a tool to raise awareness of this horrible little known cancer that is such a deadly killer (and sadly, 100% preventable).

I would love it if you would be willing to share my video on your blog with your readers. Here is the link to my video: http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather

Let me know what you think!

Heather

I was shocked and powerfully moved.  I watched the video with tears coming down my face.  It was a message of hope and felt as if God was telling me I should not feel so hopeless and that a miracle could happen.  In the video Heather speaks of being the type of person who has rose colored glasses, and that is why I say I need to find mine!  

This was the first message, but then a couple of weeks ago as I was talking with Dorthy she shared Big Frank's feelings of hope with his fight to beat melanoma.  He believes he can beat it.  His conviction is very moving to me.  This man who is literally fighting for his life and enduring terrible side effects from treatments and the cancer is thinking positively about being cured.  Some days are worse than others for him and he is not always optimistic, but he is fighting and holding on to his hope.  This was the second message.

I believe in signs and that things happen for a reason.  Being contacted by Heather wasn't just a coincidence, it was God's plan.  As I said, it has been on my heart and I wanted to share.  I hope you watch the video as it has a message of hope and perseverance that we can all benefit from hearing.

God Bless!

Also, here are some pictures of Big Frank and family.  When he started chemo he shaved his head, so now he really looks like his older brother, Carl!

Tommy Gilstrap, Lil Frank, Big Frank, Glenn, and Glenn Picquet

This is when they all came in town to play a round with Frank before he started chemo.  It was really great to have them visit and lift him up.

Father's Day 2013

Big Frank with all his two grown up kids and little grandkids.

Cameron's "Hole-in-One" 1st Birthday Party!

Saturday we had Cam's first birthday party and it all went so well!  Thanks to KK, Stef, and my family for all the help!  :)  I have been planning his party for months really, but the last two weeks have been busy with creating little tags, signs, and finishing his scrapbook.  It is sort of strange feeling for him to be a year old... wow... it has happened so fast.  But back to the party... all the little golfers and big golfers came to celebrate our special sweetheart's first "hole-in-one".  The adults had a goodie bag that we called the "mulligan bag" filled with two golf balls personalized... one with a pic of Cam and the other with the note "Cameron's 1st Birthday, A Hole-in-One"and some golf tees.  Little golfers got their own little golf set to take home.  And before the adults left we asked for them to turn in their scorecard and sign a message for Cam, which I have placed in his scrapbook.  Fortunately the weather was sunny and warm enough to be outside so we could still have tables out in the front and the kids could go play and hit balls in the "Cameron Lakes" driving range across the street.  It did get to be terribly windy, though, so we had to quickly grab everything and bring it in just before the party ended.  Cam's smash cake was on one of the tables and it actually flipped up and on to the cupcake stand because the wind gust was so strong!!  We enjoyed hotdogs, hamburgers, mac & cheese, baked beans, chips, and had cupcakes and cookie cake for dessert.  Cameron was such a great little guy throughout the whole party... he didn't get a nap in the morning, but really did not have a major meltdown... just got upset at lunch and at the end of his smash cake when we were trying to wipe the icing off.  After most people left we opened his gifts and he immediately started having fun playing with them.  We now have lots of boy toys... trucks, cars, construction trucks, etc.  He loves everything and we appreciate everyone giving him so many wonderful gifts.  He is going to have so much fun playing with all the new toys!!

Here are a few pics!

Cameron's Month-to-Month Pics!!

I wanted to share this picture of Cameron growing over the last year.  Wow... it is just so crazy for all of that to happen in what felt like 12 very short months!!

Cameron's One Year Update!!

Sweet baby boy is now officially a one year old!!  I feel like a lot has changed with his development this last month.  Here, as always, are the highlights and recap of his routine and the new things he is up to!

• In bed around 8:30 and sleeps until 8 usually or even later, sometimes 8:30-9!
• Naps are still at 10 and 3 usually and last 2 hours.  But sometimes he has to skip the morning nap and takes a long afternoon nap from 1:30-4:30-5.  We will probably move him to one afternoon nap before too long.  
• No more bottles.  :(  We gave him his last bottle Sunday and now he has organic whole milk in the morning and at night before bedtime.
• He drinks from the sippy cup, but is cranky about it sometimes.  He would guzzle down the milk from the bottle, which is not the case with the sippy cup! But more and more he picks it up and holds it to drink without needing help.  With his milk we have to help if we want him to drink it all!
• Still in size 4 diapers and wearing 12-18 month clothes.
• He is a super fast crawler and gets around the house without a problem.  He has started walking along things more and taking a step toward things like when he is holding on to the couch and while holding steps and lets go as he reaches for the ottoman.  He has more confidence walking along things as well.
• Yesterday KK said he stood up for a few seconds on his own... that is exciting so I look forward to seeing him do that, too.
• He walks with the walker, but is on his tip-toes!  It is really cute.  
• Still says "mamma" and "dadda" and "go".  He will repeat other sounds as well.  And he seems to maybe be saying "yeah" (not yay).  
• He feeds himself now!!  We feed him pretty much everything and he chows down. Sometimes he puts way too much in his mouth and has gagged... that is a little scary of course.  But he does ok and we try to slow him down!
• Already he is getting picky and has his favorite foods...for instance, we will give him some pizza and he will cry if you don't just keep giving him that to eat instead of peas or some kind of fruit.  We try to keep a balance of the good and bad food for him, but based on his not gaining much weight I think I will not worry quite as much about it always being super healthy. 
• He likes pretty much everything and has had a big variety of food: chicken, hamburger, hotdog, peas, carrots, sweet potato, zucchini, squash, beans, rice, a few tortilla chips!!, waffles, pancakes, grapes, strawberry, pineapple, raisins, cantaloupe, watermelon, blueberries, muffins, oatmeal, yogurt, cheerios (of course), mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, and more!! 
• We turned his carseat around... he enjoys the extra leg room (he is over 2 1/2 feet tall!) and I love being able to hand things to him and talk to him where he can see me. 
• He had lots of fun at his first birthday party for his friend Bannon!  He hung out with all the "cool kids" eating goldfish and chilling.  :)

His 1 year stats from the doctor:
Weight: 22 lbs 15 oz (50%)
Height: 31 1/2 inches (90%)
Head Circumference: 46 cm (50%)

I was bothered that he only gained 4-5 ounces in the last 3 months, but the doctor said that it could be his body will start to grow on a different growth curve because sometimes kids slow down for a few months and then continue gaining after that.  It is just a little weird to me since he has always gained weight before and Emerson always gained weight... But I will try not to worry that this is a problem.  :)

Here are some pictures of our little man Cam!

Having fun at the golf course!

Love this one... so happy with daddy and Emerson running in the background.

His 12 month pic!!

Sweet Cameron... already turning 1!

It's hard for me to believe that it has already been a year since sweet Cameron was born.  Time passes much too quickly with the busy lives we have.  It's hard to stop and just enjoy all the wonderful moments, though we try.  In a way, I have been preparing myself for the reality of Cameron turning one.  With Emerson I was just merrily going along having fun with birthday planning and the night before she turned one it all sort of hit me.  With Cameron it has been on my mind constantly... this little voice reminding me that he is growing up and is slowly turning into a little boy.  Still a baby, but well on his way to outgrowing so many things that make him a baby in my mind.  Things like how mobile he is... how he has begun feeding himself... getting ready to drop bottles entirely for sippy cups... So I have been holding him a little longer at night... giving him even more kisses... adoring his precious smile and grin.  This is part of our nighttime routine...after getting in pajamas and brushing his teeth we snuggle. When he is sleepy he lays his head on my shoulder and I LOVE it so much.  I just hug him back feeling the weight of his head as it rests and it is often at that point that tears fill my eyes... the overwhelming emotion that comes through me.  I'm so thankful for him... even though it has been a year I sometimes can't believe how blessed we are.  So tonight, it was no different.  It was a little later because we had gone to the golf club to take pictures, but after he was ready for bed we snuggled.  He laid his head on my shoulder, and I cried.  I told him how much I loved him and that I couldn't believe he was about to be a year old.  Sweet little boy was so tired that after snuggling a little he was ready for me to lay him in bed.  As I left his room I was a little sad... though when I think about it I shouldn't be.  What a wonderful year it has been watching him grow, even if it has happened too fast!  This time last year I had no idea that I'd meet him the next day, but I'm so thankful.  A year ago I sat in this same spot on the couch, but I was over 50 pounds heavier and was so uncomfortable!!  My belly round and stretched to hold this amazing little boy.  If I close my eyes and enjoy a little silence I can think back to that feeling... of rubbing my hand over my belly and feeling him move.  Motherhood is such a gift... an amazing adventure.

To my sweet little Cameron... Tomorrow you turn ONE and we have some really fun stuff planned for you!!  I'm taking off from work to enjoy some extra time with you on your big day.  We will see how you like some cake, which I have ordered from Walmart thanks to the tip from Laura (thanks girl!) and then next Saturday we have your birthday party with family and friends.  Happy, Happy Birthday little man...  I love you so very much!!  

Here are two pictures from my first moments with Cameron... one right after he was born when we first met and the other is a few hours later when we were laying skin to skin.  I love these pictures capturing those special moments.

This last picture is of me giving Cam his last bottle.  Oddly, we have gone through all of the formula after mixing it half/half with milk over the last week or so and tonight was the last of the formula.  Tomorrow we will officially move to using sippy cups only with the organic milk... So I fed him the last one... it isn't the end of cuddles while he has milk because we will definitely hold on to that for a bit longer... though I know it won't be long before that changes too and he is running around drinking his milk!

Bluebonnets 2013

This year we took bluebonnet pictures at the JC Penney headquarters instead of the field at Fujitsu.  Apparently we did not get enough rain in the area so bluebonnets were not as abundant as in years past.  It has been a little bit of a bummer that the field at work did not have as many as it has always been nice to drive by the sea of bluebonnets.  With this being the case, I was also disappointed because I wanted pics of the kids, but then I heard, through my sweet friend Barbara, that there were bluebonnets at JC Penney.  One night a couple of weeks ago we headed over to get pictures.  I hoped to get some of both kids together, but it wasn't in the cards.  :)  Also, I realized after taking the pictures how very little I know about using the camera and changing the settings as most of my pictures have shadows on faces and I think some of that is corrected with settings.  Still, I got some cute pictures!  As we were getting stuff loaded in the car a sweet couple saw us and offered to take our pictures, which was so nice!  She asked if I minded if she changed off "auto" to manually select settings, which I of course did not mind! In just a minute or so she took several great pictures of us and the kids were looking for pretty much all of them.  They probably were wondering who she was... so I think the plan for a good picture is to find a stranger to talk to them so they will both look at the camera!!  :)  

Happy Easter 2013

What a beautiful day it has turned out to be!  So, why am I spending time on a computer posting pictures you might ask??  It is a good question... I should be doing that laundry that is waiting to be washed!   :)

We were supposed to have gone to Austin to spend Easter with Frank's parents and GG, but with Big Frank not feeling well after being in the hospital this past week we have postponed the visit.  So I checked with my family and everyone thought it would be fun to go to our church and then have lunch and an Easter Egg Hunt here at our house.  The weather forecast all week predicted a rainy Easter and that is what we were expecting today.  And this morning it was rainy with lots of thunder and sheets of rain hitting the windows.  I was up around 7:30 this morning getting ready before the kids woke up and as I saw the rain outside of the window I hoped we would have some breaks in the storm to get some family pictures.  When we went to church for the 10am service it was not raining and felt nice outside, but it still looked like it wanted to rain.  By the time we got out it looked like it was clearing up and that was so nice to see.  And now it is absolutely beautiful outside!  It is almost metaphoric...  a dark and gloomy day turned joyful... much like the sadness of Jesus's death and then the celebration that HE is risen!   The church service was a very joyful time with the choir and orchestra.  I love the song "Christ the Lord is Risen Today"....  such a triumphant song.  I found a version on YouTube that is nice and is much like how it sounded in church this morning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWbpsmBbZMg
We also sang another favorite, "The Hymn of Promise", which I spoke about last Easter.  It really was a wonderful sermon and church service.  After returning home we got some family pictures and pictures of the kids, then it was time to get lunch prepared!  While doing that Frank and Justin his the Easter eggs for Emerson (and Cameron- though he is too young) and we enjoyed an egg hunt before lunch.  There were lots and lots of eggs!  CC and GrandPaul brought bubbles as well and Emerson had a blast chasing after them!!

Here are several pictures from our Easter celebration today.  So many fun memories...

This is a video of Emerson chasing bubbles!

I'm so thankful for our family... our beautiful children, and the love and support we have in both of our extended families.  While it was not the original plan for Easter, I'm thankful to have been able to enjoy it with my family and to have gone to our church service.  We will work out a time, hopefully very soon, to spend a weekend with Frank's parents to enjoy having lots of fun with them in Austin.  We continue to pray that his health improves and that the cancer is gone.